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Sex quotes can be funny, cruel and kind, though I’m not sure if you can get a combination of all three in the same breath. Funny sex quotes are my favourites and I kind of like the ones from women knocking men. Sharon Stone will forever be famous for her ‘leg crossing, no underwear’ scene in the 1992 bisexual serial killer movie Basic Instinct, and she sets the sexy quotes scene rolling with a quote which Meg Ryan would have been proud of. Ryan will also always be remembered for her ‘faked orgasm’ scene in the romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally (1989).

Here’s my pick of some of the best sex quotes and sayings.

  1. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships – Sharon Stone (pictured right)
  2. Don’t knock masturbation….. it’s sex with someone I love – Woody Allen
  3. When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows – Frederike Ryder
  4. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope – George Burns
  5. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy – Tom Clancy
  6. Sex is emotion in motion – Mae West
  7. I know nothing about sex, because I was always married – Zsa Zsa Gabor
  8. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand – Woody Allen
  9. According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful – Robert De Niro
  10. We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation – Lily Tomlin
  11. Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful …..provided you get between the right man and the right woman – Woody Allen
  12. Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands – Jayne Mansfield

I’ll finish this post with a sex joke rather than a quote and its punchline might answer a question which has probably been around for many centuries.

  • A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.  The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.  The egg mutters to no one in particular, “I guess we answered that question.”

If you have a favourite sex quote then please share it by dropping it into the comment box below.

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