From the Pavilion End – Funny Cricket Quotes

When it comes to funny sports quotes, cricket can bowl most of the opposition over. Players, TV commentators and journalists all seem to enjoy making funny cricket quotes when the chance arises.

Cricket is said to be a gentleman’s game but some of the remarks between batsmen and fielders suggest otherwise. In the heat of the battle, both on the playing field and in the commentary box, great cricket quotes flow as freely as runs from a batsman’s willow. Here’s my collection of 15 funny cricket quotes, bloomers and commentators gaffes.

• “I bounced a cricket ball off his cheek and waited for him to fall down. He just carried on chewing gum and hit my next ball for six, 24 rows back.” - Former Australian fast bowler Rodney Hogg talking about Viv Richards.
• “On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.” - Brian Johnston.
• “The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It is long and square.” – Trevor Bailey.
• “The only time an Australian ever walks is when his car runs out of petrol.” – Barry Richards.
• “I thought they were only allowed two bouncers in one over.” – Bill Frindall commenting on a female streaker.
• “I don’t ask my wife to face Michael Holding, so there’s no reason why I should be changing nappies.” – Ian Botham.
• “That slow motion replay doesn’t show how fast the ball was travelling.” – Richie Benaud.

• “Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end.” – Brian Johnston.
• “Mate, if you turn the bat over, you’ll see the instructions on the back.” –  Australian fast bowler Merv Hughes to England batsman Robin Smith.
• “A Test match without Botham is like a horror film without Boris Karloff.” - Fred Trueman.
• “Shane Warne’s idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand.” – Former Australian wicketkeeper Ian Healy
• “The only difference with Gooch’s tour and what happened on the Bounty was that Captain Bligh got that bit more support.” – Greg Chappell.
• “I know why Boycott’s bought a house by the sea …. so he’ll be able to go for a walk on the water.” – Fred Trueman.
• “Ashley Giles made a simple attempt at a top-edged hook by Mahela Jayawardene look like a Mr Bean Christmas special.” – Peter Hayter.
• “I was once offered a Foster’s from someone over the fence, but it was warmer and frothier than a Foster’s.” – Bob Willis talking about an Australian supporter.

To read more funny cricket quotes follow these links:
Cricket Quotes and Lady Boys
More Funny Cricket Quotes and Bloomers